burnwithus: (↘ choices)
katniss everdeen ([personal profile] burnwithus) wrote2011-03-05 02:04 am
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with rocks and clouds we breathe violent skies ➴ buffy

It's only a few days after the disaster that was her return visit to Panem, and Katniss still hasn't slept. It feels as if things are moving far too fast, uncharacteristic for this idyllic island 'paradise'. She can't stop the dread building in her gut when she realizes that what had happened was only a taste of her fate should she return home. Being dragged into prison by Peacekeepers. Executed in front of the entirety of Panem.

This is what happens when you defy us. A message for all to see. People would talk, she has no doubt about that. Years after her execution, they'll wonder why she did it, because they don't know the truth. They'll write her off as being unbalanced and get on with their lives. Katniss doesn't contest the proposed accusation - she knows that her actions were based off of paranoia, at least in part.

She's back to her old habits already, wandering the forest, but this time Katniss doesn't take her bow with her. It's the bow that Beetee made for her. A bow that was meant for war. It feels wrong in this forest, untouched by the Games and the War and all the promises that the Revolution said it would bring but ultimately failed to do for her.

There's a bush of primroses growing wild, the yellow flowers drawing her in. The word rose is the first to make the connection in her brain and she almost gags again at the thought, but doesn't in the end. She doesn't know what she's doing, but Katniss kneels in front of the bush and reaches out anyways, wrapping her palm around a stem, trying to remove the flower from the plant. The thorns cut into her palm but she grits her teeth and bears it until the flower snaps off.

A drop of blood falls onto the yellow flower, staining a delicate petal red. Blood and roses. The symbol isn't lost on Katniss.

Blood on her hands again. Slick and shiny and sticky, stinking of iron. She's so used to it on her skin by now, but at least this time it's her own blood. Katniss can't help but think of the Peacekeeper's blood, hot on her hair and clothing back in Panem, and even though it was only a dream it had felt real at the time and Katniss can't help but notice how little she hesitated before reacting with the knife. There was really no hesitation at all.

So she's a murderer. That's nothing Katniss didn't know already. The problem is being forced to see the evidence of it in front of her.

With a sigh that resonates through the forest, she picks another flower. Maybe she'll make a wreathe. These aren't the places where Prim walked and lived, but it'll give her something to do.

[identity profile] chose.livejournal.com 2011-03-05 07:26 am (UTC)(link)
Buffy did her best in Panem, did what she could, but it wasn't enough. The truth is that it hasn't been enough for a while, was barely enough to cut it even when she was home, and that gets to her. It makes her feel useless, resentful. It makes her hate this place and all that being stuck here entails. After over a year, she feels beyond restless, even if she's come up with a dozen ways and then some to occupy her time. It barely helps, these days, in the wake of everything that happened with Angel, and now with Katniss.

She wants to believe the best in the younger girl, but truthfully, Buffy isn't so sure she knows Katniss at all. What she saw in Panem wasn't a girl, was barely even human. It reminded her of Faith, and all the ways Buffy failed to save her, even if it was never her responsibility. Faith is still in jail, and Buffy still feels she could have done more. Hers isn't a conscious effort to find Katniss, but she isn't attempting to avoid the girl, either. Ultimately, they're bound to cross paths. That happens sooner rather than later comes as a relief; at least she can get it all in the open and out of her head.

"Those are pretty," she comments from afar, her voice soft and low. Only once she's certain Katniss has seen her does Buffy edge forward; she can't help being cautious now that she knows what the other girl is capable of.